Why are leaders avoiding hard conversations?

Is it awkwardness? Uncomfortableness? Fear of conflict? For whatever reason, many workplace leaders are sidestepping those honest conversations with their employees that are crucial to business performance and wellbeing.

HR Leader recently posed the question “Why are leaders avoiding hard conversations?” to Leah Mether, communication specialist and author of Soft is the New Hard, in an attempt to find reasoning for this often-widespread behaviour.

“Leaders often avoid hard conversations because they fear conflict, confrontation, or negative reactions. Many hope the issue will resolve itself or feel unsure about what to say, particularly with confusion around how psychological safety applies to tough conversations,” said Mether.

“Some worry about being accused of bullying or damaging relationships if they cause discomfort. But when these conversations are dodged, small issues escalate, leading to declining morale, eroded trust, and unresolved conflicts.”

Mether stated that the avoidance of such conversations only creates toxicity within the workplace and with the team. Although anxiety around how these conversations may be portrayed can be a real threat, avoiding them entirely will only escalate over time, resulting in worse consequences than what would have happened if the conversation took place.

“Avoidance fosters a toxic work environment and harms team dynamics, allowing problems to grow unchecked,” said Mether.

Another space in which a communication breakdown or lack of communication can be problematic is setting boundaries with the new Right to Disconnect laws that have come into place throughout the Australian workplace.

Mether claimed that setting boundaries through clear communication about these new laws is essential for leaders and employees.

“Setting clear boundaries and shared expectations about communication under the new Right to Disconnect (RTD) laws is essential for team wellbeing and compliance. It’s not just about when and how to make contact – whether by phone, email, or text – but also about when it’s OK to switch off and not reply,” said Mether.

“Involve your team in creating these expectations so everyone is clear and more likely to uphold them. Discuss when contact is appropriate, like in emergencies, and when responses can wait. Make sure everyone knows how to schedule emails, so if you work outside hours, you’re not unintentionally pressuring others to respond.”

Leaders are responsible for fostering a relationship where both parties respect boundaries and expectations around this law.

“As a leader, you must be clear about your expectations and model the behaviour. If no one is expected to respond after hours, you need to live by that rule yourself. Co-creating these boundaries ensures everyone understands their rights, complies with the law, and feels empowered to disconnect,” said Mether.