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While you may dread giving “negative” feedback or be concerned about the potential impact, five simple steps flip this from avoiding negative impact to strengthening mental health, writes Genevieve Hawkins.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that 12 billion working days are lost annually to depression and anxiety globally, with an estimated $1 trillion impact on productivity. Your team having a sense of confidence, purpose and achievement through positive relationships can help improve their mental health, not just avoid this negative impact. How you give feedback is at the core of building positive relationships with and confidence in others. While you may dread giving “negative” feedback or be concerned about the potential impact, five simple steps flip this from avoiding negative impact to strengthening mental health.
Negative feedback can negatively impact mental health when there isn’t an established relationship; it’s vague, done via email (particularly with cc) or publicly; and when it is one way with no “right of reply”. Connection, contribution, and curiosity improve our mental health. Feedback that comes from a base of a connected relationship, with regular specific positive feedback on contribution, then enables curiosity, not defensiveness to “negative” feedback. Don’t avoid giving feedback; get better at it. This improves health and performance.
Step 1: Build connection first so the person feels like they belong
Kicking off a relationship with criticism causes anxiety. Help them feel seen as human beings first. Consider what you have in common with them that has nothing to do with work. Start building connections through this.
Step 2: Reinforce contribution with specific positive feedback often
Look for desired behaviours and recognise them often. Help them feel valued for their contribution. This isn’t just a bland “thank you” and “well done”. Get specific.
Consider:
Great report. Thanks.
versus
The report on X was brilliant. The language and length made it digestible, with clear direction. This was such a relief. I was concerned about the decision. You made it easy. Thanks.
When you give specific actions that you value, it gives clear direction on what to keep doing, building confidence. When you include how this made you feel, it builds stronger connection with and confidence in you. Both improve mental health.
Step 3: Consider the context before racing in
Before you give feedback, consider:
- Is the feedback to get it off your chest or to help them? Only give feedback to help, not air frustrations.
- Is this feedback from someone else? Then, coach them to give the feedback. Don’t play the messenger.
- Are you in the right head space to give the feedback? Wait until you are calm.
- What context do you really have? People don’t go to work to deliberately do a bad job. What else could be influencing this behaviour?
Step 4: Trigger curiosity through structured two-way constructive feedback
Adjust your approach for constructive feedback to be open to alternative perspectives. Help them feel heard.
Consider:
That wasn’t a great meeting with the board. You’ll need to do better next time.
versus
When we were in yesterday’s board meeting, I noticed that you were reading more from your notes than making eye contact with the board. It looked like you didn’t know the topic well. This made me uncomfortable and had me stepping in when I wasn’t expecting to. Can you help me understand what was going on for you there?
This helps the person understand what you saw, how you interpreted it, AND gives them the opportunity to respond. When someone responds constructively to the feedback you have given, this indicates they feel seen by you and value the feedback as part of their learning and growth. This curiosity improves their mental health.
Step 5: Keep reinforcing contribution
What do you need to do to support them in the change? Behaviour rarely sustainably changes after one conversation. Catch them doing the right thing. Give repeated specific positive feedback to build confidence. We are all flawed humans and can repeat mistakes. Coaches don’t criticise when they see the mistake again. When they feel safe and valued, they will want to keep improving.
Connection, contribution and curiosity are at the heart of better mental health and peak performance. Well-constructed feedback sits at the heart of it. Kick off the revolution today. You will be amazed at the change in health, performance and business outcomes.
Genevieve Hawkins is an author, speaker, facilitator, and coach on mental health and conflict.
